 Dowry-Cows Word of the week: nyogo. Nyogo is the word for the multiple meetings and process involved in a traditional Luo marriage ceremony. This is a Luo word, not a Swahili word. Although English and Swahili are the official languages of Kenya, Kisumu is primarily inhabited by the Luo tribe- hence, the local language is Luo. Last weekend I made friends with Katja, a German women, and her husband, Joshua, a Kenyan Luo. They met in Sudan doing charity work, fell in love, and were married in Germany. It was very important to Joshua’s family that they have a proper traditional Luo marriage. This last Saturday, they performed the last part of the ceremony, and I was lucky enough to be invited. To read about the nyogo and see the pictures from the event, please click "Read More" Nyogo’s consist of three meetings, held over the course of weeks or months. At the first meeting, a representative from the groom’s family meets with representatives from the bride’s family to negotiate the terms. There are discussions on the construction of the home, the dowry, and the date of the ceremony. After the meeting, the representatives go back to the families to assure the terms of the negotiation are acceptable. At the second meeting, the representatives meet again, and make sure that both the groom and the bride’s families are happy with the terms. After this is settled, both the groom and the bride’s families begin preparing for the nyogo. In Luo culture, the groom must construct a home for his bride. Traditional homes, with dirt floors, stick and mud walls, and thatch roofs, take approximately 1 day to construct. Katja and Joshua’s home, with a cement floor, brick and mud walls, electricity, running water, and a metal roof, took approximately 3 months to construct. They also have an outdoor shower and outhouse. The home is on Joshua’s family land. In Luo culture, parents give their sons parcels of land on the family property. The first son’s parcel of land is to the right of his parent’s home, the second son’s parcel of land is to the left of the parent’s home, the third son’s parcel of land is to the right of the first son’s home, and the fourth son’s parcel is to the left of the second son’s home, and so on. When a son marries, he constructs a home for his bride on his parcel. The home belongs to the wife. While sons remain with their family, daughters are married into their groom’s family. In Luo culture, the groom’s family gives the bride’s family a dowry in cows. The dowry is not considered a bride-price; the groom’s family is not purchasing a bride for their son. The dowry is in recognition and in exchange for the investment her family made in their daughter. A bride who comes from a good family, whose family has invested time and love, who have taught her to cook well and has been educated, is worth more cows. Bringing a good woman into a family brings prosperity. According to Joshua’s uncle, who led the nyogo ceremony, “A woman whose parents have not received cows is considered a prostitute.” While men might socially accept her, women in her village will look down on her because both her husband and her parents did not value her enough to assure the dowry was paid. I was lucky enough to attend the third nyogo meeting. Traditionally, the bride’s family hosts this final event at their family home. This celebration is open to the entire village. Because Katja’s family is from Germany, Katja’s sister-in-law graciously allowed Katja’s family to use her home as their family home for the ceremony. The event began with beverages, and a huge array of traditional Kenyan food including goat (which has been specially slaughtered for the event), chicken, tilapia, kale, chapatti, rice, and ugali. Katja’s mother baked and carried a Linzertorte all the way from Germany, especially for the occasion. After the meal, the ceremony began. Joshua’s uncle explained Luo culture to Katja’s guests, gifts were exchanged, and everyone at the event had an opportunity to speak and share congratulations to the bride and groom. After this exchange, the representatives for Joshua’s family brought the dowry-cows to Katja’s family home. At the family gate, the representatives for Katja’s family met the cows, inspected them, and brought them into the homestead. It was at this moment Katja and Joshua were officially married in Luo tradition, and Katja became an adult member and the responsibility of Joshua’s family. Joshua’s family recognized Katja’s value: her parent received 5 cows for their investment in their daughter. A cow in Kenya is worth approximately $200, no small sum for a subsistence agricultural community. So, you may be wondering: What will Katja’s parents, living thousands of miles away in Germany, do with 5 cows? Traditionally, parents of the bride use the cows from their daughters’ dowry to help pay the dowry of their sons’ brides. Katja has 2 brothers, but they probably won’t need cows. Instead, Katja’s parents have asked Joshua to care for their cows, make sure they are well-fed and multiply, and warned that they plan to regularly visit Kenya to inspect them. Katja and Joshua work and live in Nairobi, and plan to visit their home in Boya (a village 10 miles outside of Kisumu) once a month. Dr. Mike Marks, my protector in Kenya, informed me that he won’t let me go for anything less than 50 cows. P.S. For those of you I haven't responded to- I've been having internet connection issues. I'll get back to you once I'm able to get internet at home again. |  Joshua and Katja's new home  Joshua and Katja's shower and outhouse  The nyogo, under bougainvillea trees, at the sister-in-laws. Her mud-and-stick home is behind the tree, the kitchen is in the background.  Katja and Joshua  Hand-washing before dinner  Katja's family being served the nyogo meal  Joshua's other uncle, roasting a goat's head  A roasting goat's head  random chicklets  Joshua's uncle, beginning the ceremony  Katja and her family  Joshua's uncle presenting Katja's mother, father, aunts & uncles with gifts.  Katya's representatives waiting for the cows at the gate  The cows, and Joshua's representatives arriving  Yvonne, Katja's mother, and Katja awaiting the arrival of the cows  Katja's representatives approving the cows, and bringing them through the family gate  Katja's father, proud owner of 5 cows  Joshua's representatives, after completing their duties  Katja's father and uncle, thanking Joshua's family for their hospitality  Linzertorte, homemade and imported from Germany  Chris and Yvonne, friends of Katja and Joshua  Serena, sweaty and overdressed for the occasion |
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